When the pandemic hit and we were all forced to stay inside, I realised that this situation really wasn’t for me and I needed to get out. Alicia

Get Divorced, Be Happy by Helen Thorn | Waterstones

I thought of stereotypical divorce as something that happens a lot further down the line when you have grown-up children. Alicia When did you realise your marriage wasn’t going to work, was there a catalyst that led to the divorce? My ex-husband of over 30 years started acting differently. He was behaving as if he didn’t want to be with me, arguing with me and our son all the time. Finally, I left him and then I filed for divorce. Only then did I discover he’d been seeing his first wife. I did worry about financial struggles. I was only working part-time as I studied with the Open University, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to support myself if I went solo. That’s why I’m so grateful for my friend who allowed me to stay with her. I was able to afford to pay her some rent money whilst studying. It also meant that for a long time I was trying to save money in case I needed it for my car, divorce proceedings and other costly things, so I lived on beans on toast and didn’t treat myself for a while.Instead, the new law will simply introduce the requirement to provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown. Joint applications will become possible (although applicants can still submit a sole application if their partner does not agree to the Divorce). Helen is the author of the book Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after. The three divorcees discuss their first-hand experience of going through the emotional process of Divorce, the reasons for having a divorce, dating in your 40s and finding happiness within. Is dating a younger man the key to sexual liberation? We delve deep. I fell in love with another man, and didn’t want to have an affair, so I left my husband. It didn’t work out with the other man and I have bitterly regretted it ever since (over 10 years ago now). I have never found anyone I loved nearly as much as my ex-husband; it taught me the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. I realise now we had a brilliant (not perfect, but brilliant) marriage

Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be

Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after, by Helen Thorn. Yeah, of course. But only if I knew that person well enough and was sure this was the person I want to spend my future with. Don’t rush things. Take it easy and see where life takes you. Stay true to yourself, nobody has the right to change you. If they don’t accept you the way you are, they’re not worth being with you.Lots of things resulted in it but the moment I realised it was over was when we moved into our house and he kept accusing me of having affairs, phoning me when I was at work events and ruining the nights with it, then there was the fact he didn’t want to come with me to see family or be bothered with them. Telling other people was easy and relieving. Actually chatting and discussing this with others gave me strength to go through with it, I was never afraid of what others might think of it. I’d also want people in this situation to know that even though it will be hard, you will come out the other side and be happy again. Alicia Chloe Welcome to episode 47 of Women Who Rebrand! Join Sareta and her special guest, Harriet Shearsmith, Author, Blogger and Podcaster, as they delve into narcissistic mother and adult-daughter dynamics.Harriet knows the challenges of navigating estrangement, toxic family... read more Breaking Free from Codependency: Understanding Attachment Styles E45

Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be

For women in their 20s and 30s – when the rest of the friendship group are often single, in a relationship or newlywed – leaving their marriage can be a particularly isolating time. The judgement and self-stigma that comes with being the divorced one is unsurprisingly difficult to navigate. How did you find telling other people about your decision, did you ever feel a pressure to stay through fear of other people’s opinions? I realized it when he stopped pursuing me romantically, and when he refused to accommodate my needs as a wife. The night I left, he said straight to my face, “I’m not sure I love you anymore.” The catalyst, in the end, was that I had been warning him to stay away from this one girl in his friend group, all to find out that he’d been having sex with her all along. I had known about her reputation, and he had ensured me that I had nothing to worry about. Turns out, my instincts were correct, and I got played like a fool. A legal separation may be a good option if you have been married for less than a year if you need some time to figure out if your marriage is definitively over, or if you have religious reasons not to want to get divorced. The fact we weren’t right for each other didn’t emerge straight away because we had a long-distance courtship and marriage, but the more time we spent in the same city the less we had to talk about. He was a kind, supportive man but not an observant or reflective one. I knew I would grow impatient with him, so I left. (Yes, I gave another explanation.)Often clients tell me how important it is to be able to slow down and focus on themselves. A key to happiness for many is to reconnect with friends and reclaim interests they neglected or gave up. The Conclusion: Divorce Alone Will Not Make You Happy The singer’s experience isn’t unique but due to the stigma and social commentary that often surrounds divorcing at a young age, it felt refreshing for her to be telling that story publicly having made it through the other side; committing both her pain and healing to record in an album millions of women could blast along country lanes, throwing their legal paperwork out the window for years to come. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. It caused a lot of distress for my partner and my family (particularly my mother). For them, it had come out of the blue because nothing was “wrong” in their eyes so nobody understood why I wanted to leave. I stayed for a while longer because of the upset it was causing but also because of the pandemic. When COVID-19 hit, I had nowhere else to go. I knew my grandparents would have taken me in but it was 2020 and I didn’t want to risk spreading anything, so I stayed.